Solitude (solitudestarer) wrote,
Solitude
solitudestarer

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Grave...

*sigh* So, my great grandmother's funeral was this past Monday. It was really really sad. I shed tears the whole time. I actually wanted to speak but I know if I did that would have been it. I would have broken down in front of everyone and I felt that since I'm one of the few members of the family that is/has actually done something in their lives I didn't think it would be a smart move on our part as a whole.

No....thats a lie. I guess I simply didn't want anyone to see me cry. Anyway, before and after the funeral was totally bogus. I had family members who hadn't seen my face nor care to ask come up to me like we were fucking brothers or some shit. Smiling in my face like everything is ok. Like I won't remember the past. Fuckers. Liars, Cheaters, and Stealers to me and I'm supposed to pretend I'm happy to see your face. It made me sick throughout the wake and after the funeral was over I left immediately. No goodbyes or anything. That and I didn't want to see the burial. Yeah.

Although one good part came out of all this. I got to meet up with my first cousin, Tiffany. Man, I haven't seen her in like forever. We used to play a lot when I was younger. She' about 2 years younger then me but whenever she came over, hide n seek was the shit. Anyways, I got her celly and talked to her for a good 4 hours about the past, present, how shits fucked up with the fam and a bunch of other stuff. Man, how the times have changed.

I have to say this has been a pretty hard week. I mean rough. I'm just glad its over. Now the only funeral I'm looking forward to is my mother's. How wonderful a day that will be.
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